There once were two college freshman who had a lot in common. They both liked to sing Christmas carols in September, they both liked to eat Italian food at Sbarro’s, and they both liked to watch “The Brave Little Toaster” on video.
These things made them happy. So happy, in fact, that they decided to be roommates the next school year.
Sophomore year arrived and the girls lived in the same dorm room. It was small, as many dorms are. The room consisted of two roughly 8 X 10 areas connected diagonally. The area contained dressers and desks and a set of bunk beds.
The girls could sing to their hearts content, go to Sbarro’s whenever they wished, and watch “The Brave Little Toaster” until they couldn’t stand another household appliance.
They were happy. But into their happy world came a little cloud.
The floors were bare.
For the sake of comfort while singing, eating leftovers, and watching “The Brave Little Toaster” the girls decided they needed a carpet on the floor.
The girls did not have a car. They decided to walk across town (passed Sbarros) to the local 5 and 10 Cent store to purchase a carpet.
They agreed that the carpet must be large enough to cover the whole floor of the area by the beds, including the area under the beds. So they happily walked to the 5 and 10, excitedly anticipating getting a big carpet to cover their floor.
When they arrived at the store, they decided to get a cart to carry their big carpet. The carts were small, because the store was small, and the girls worried their carpet wouldn’t fit in it.
The carpet section was in the back of the store. The carpets were rolled up, standing on their ends. The sign in the carpet area said: “NO RETURNS.”
The girls picked the biggest carpet they could find. It stuck out of the end of the cart quite far – it was a big carpet, after all.
Getting such a big carpet in such a small cart was not an easy task. At one point, the girl pushing the cart bumped a man with the big carpet and he called her a “Woman Driver!”.
The girl was offended, but nothing would stand in the way of the big carpet coming home to the little dorm room. The girls, undeterred, made their way through the store to the check out.
They determinedly paid for their carpet and hoisted it up in their arms. They were honest girls, and they did not take the cart from the store for the return journey.
Carrying a big carpet across town was tiring business. The girls were proud, though, of procuring such a big, handsome carpet for their little room.
They couldn’t wait to see it in all it’s glory on the floor by the bunk beds and to sit on it and watch “The Brave Little Toaster” while eating leftovers.
When they returned to the dorm, they wasted no time.
They pushed all of the furniture that would fit into one of the 8 X 10 sections. The bunk beds were too big to move, so once all the other furniture was in the other area the girls decided on a plan.
One girl would hold up the end of the bunk beds while the other girl would lay the big carpet on the floor all the way from one side of the room to under the beds.
Even though it would be hard, the girls thought that they might even have to move the bunk beds if the bigness of the carpet required it.
So, with one girl crouched next to the bunk beds, straining her muscles to hold them up, the other girl carefully unbound the carpet and took it by the end and prepared to open it up to it’s full, large, glorious length.
The carpet went nowhere. Certainly not under the beds. In fact, it barely went passed the girl rolling out the carpet’s feet.
She started to laugh and laugh, while the other girl continued to use all her strength to hold up the beds.
“What’s the matter?” said the girl holding up the beds. “Hurry up and roll out the carpet!”
The girl rolling out the carpet laughed, and caught her breath, and said:
“IT’S A BATHMAT!”
The other girl dropped the beds on the floor and laughed, too.
Then they decided to leave all the furniture in the other area, roll up the carpet, and return it to the store. It was false advertising, after all! That store should never have implied that they were selling them a big carpet by rolling it up long-ways!
The girls rolled that little carpet back up and carried it all the way across town, back to the 5 and 10 cent store they bought it from.
Ignoring the carts, they carried that little carpet back in the store right to the front counter.
They proceeded to inform the sales person that they were in fact returning that little carpet!
The store would just have to take it back! How dare they make a little carpet look big? That’s false advertising! There was no way those disappointed girls were leaving the store with that small carpet!
So they returned to their dorm room empty handed. The furniture was returned to its usual spaces. “The Brave Little Toaster” was watched.
Christmas carols were sung.
One day there would be a carpet on the floor of their little dorm room.
And it was just right.